The Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly, and listen to others, even to the dull and ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons: they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself to others, you may become bitter or vain, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievments as well as your plans. Keep interest in your own career, however humble: it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time...Excercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism...

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass...Take kindly the council of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discpline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. An whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be.

And whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all it's sham and drudgery and broken dreams it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful, strive to be happy.

Max Ehrman 1872 ~ 1945

Undesidirata

A Parody

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, but better yet, avoid the noise and haste altogether. Be on good terms with all persons as far as possible; especially with shopkeepers.

Speak the truth plainly and clearly; listen to others, even the dull and ignorant, until you are certain they are utterly useless. When you are not among men of reason, it is better to run than argue. Make use of loud and aggressive persons like salesmen, and use them to broadcast your radical views.

If you compare yourself to others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. This is a good thing; vanity makes you more interesting to look at, and bitterness makes you more practical and realistic.

Keep a strong interest in your own career, however humble; but if you don't enjoy humility for its own sake, learn to exercise yourself in greater spheres of action. Once you know something, it is yours forever; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. You always have to take care of wealth; knowledge takes care of you.

Exercise caution in you business affairs; for the world is full of people who must turn a profit to survive. Many persons strive for high ideals; some thrive, and some starve. There is no good reason to starve. Most people throw away treasures. Many useful and interesting items can be had for half price, if you are willing to buy them used.

Be yourself. Especially, do not deny yourself pleasure for fear of social stigma. Indulge yourself in private. If you love yourself shamelessly, others will love you.

Resist aging and death with every resource available to you. Nurture skills of self-defense. Learn how to survive under difficult conditions; this may shield you in sudden misfortune. Distinguish between illusion and reality, between emotion and fact. Avoid making important decisions on too little sleep. Kick your own ass. The universe neither cares about you nor recognizes any obligation to you. It is fixed and blind, a mad robot programmed to kill. You are free and seeing; you must outwit it at every poor turn.

Whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, you must create your own sanity, prosperity, and peace. The world is so gorgeous it hurts. Be careful. Strive to be happy.

-found on a plaque attached to a communications satellite; dated 2012

This is a parody. Please do not distribute without acknowledgement

(I think I just did)

Footprints

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along a beach with the Lord. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand; one belonging to him and the other belonging to the Lord.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many time along the path of his life there were only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times of his life.

This really bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it. "Lord, you said thet once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times of my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you the most you would leave me."

The Lord replied, "My precious, precious child, I love you and would never leave you. During the times of your trials and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."

Mary Stevenson ~ written 1936