Pre~Rapture Kit
SPECIAL OFFER!
Pre-rapture redistribution of superfluous and unneccessary
material assets.
Friends: are you concerned that when you're raptured on up, your
pets and gardens and, well, all your material wealth will be
overrun by the Godless Pagan Hordes?
Wouldn't you like to be sure that Fluffy and the azaleas and
your stock portfolio are lovingly cared for by, if not a True
BelieverTM, then at least a NICE GUY with good
intentions?
WELL TROUBLE YOURSELF NO MORE!
Just print out the accompanying Pre-Rapture Will, Power of
Attorney, and Assignment of Properties Kit.
Sign it where indicated, identifying all your Worldly Belongings
(pets by species and name, property by legal description, and
portfolio by brokerage).
Then mail, fax, or email IMMEDIATELY to:
Pre-rapture Caretakers
Att: Bil Gladstone, REALLY GOOD GUY,
Kelowna, British Columbia, Canada
Email: sendmeallyourstuff@bcnexus.com
"DON'T WAIT 'TIL IT'S TOO LATE!
WAVE A FOND FAREWELL AT THE PEARLY GATE!"
I'll play with your happy doggie and keep all your stuff safe
from the really BAD GUYS. Send the kit to me NOW. You wouldn't
want Fluffy to be sent away for horrible cloning experiments
would you?
AFTER THE RAPTURE IS TOO LATE! ACT NOW!
(Unless you want SATAN to get your stuff)