Some Views On Marriage
Sex is the price women pay for marriage.
Marriage is the price men pay for sex.
Anon.
Marriage in Hinduism
.
'He is himself a half man and the second half is his wife'
(Brahmana Text) The Hindu belief in caste(one's place in society)
and dharma(duty within one's caste) is central to issues
surrounding marriage in Hinduism. A propar understanding of this
will often remove misconceptions about the nature of marriage and
its place in Hindu society.
Marriage is the thirteenth samskaraa person will pass through
in their life. The samskarasare sixteen rituals which mark stages
in a persons life (the first concerns the moment of conception
whilst the last are the funeral rites). Also included in the
samskarasare four ashramaswhich follow the cycle of growing up,
adulthood and getting old and are Brahnacharyi(student),
Grihasta(householder), Vanaprastha (retirement) and
Sannyasin(renunciation).
Householders are expected to give to charity, care for aged
parents, offer hospitality to guests and provide a settled and
well run household. Hindus are also expected to marry in order to
continue the family and to care for the dead.
The desire for a son is particularly noteworthy as they have
the responsibility for performing many of the funeral rites and
cremating the parent's bodies [1]. Thus marriage is seen as a
sacred duty with religious as well as social obligations
involved.
'No religious ritual can be performed by a man without his
wife, and no man or woman's life is seen as complete without
marriage.' (Hinduism: A New Approach p.16f).
- According to Roman Catholic Church doctrine, marriage is the
only 1 of its 7 sacrament conferred ~ not by someone else, such
as a priest ~ but by the people themselves: a couple
simultaneously confers and receives the "sacrament" in its
exchange of vows; the priest acts only as a witness and
facilitator to this.
- A Jewish wedding includes the signing of a contract called a
ketubah.This contract establishes the wedding of the couple, and
it is signed by the couple, with the signature of the rabbi as a
witness.
- Quaker weddings rest upon a simple agreement between the
couple and those present at their "wedding" that the couple
marries there and then. Since Quakers don't ordain ministers [not
recognizing "religious authorities"], there's no need for the
pronouncement of marriage by any officiant. Indeed, some States
such as Pennsylvania offer a "Quaker" marriage license, requiring
no "official" witnesses, only a signature from several adults who
are present at the ceremony.
Bigotry, racism and homophobia are not tolerated by Wiccans
because Wicca promotes a strong lifestyle, open and supportive.
Some Wiccan's may endorse multiple partners or polyamorous sexual
patterns, while others prefer monogomy. Courtship and marriage
are a deeply personal issue and Wiccan's promote these, at the
same time, welcoming individual expression, ie Marriage,
Polygamy, Celibacy.
Ayatollah Khomeini's Religious Teachings on Marriage, Divorce
and Relationships
From Khomeini's book "Tahrir-ol-Masael"
A woman may legally belong to a man in one of two ways; by
continuing marriage or temporary marriage. In the former, the
duration of the marriage need not be specified; in the latter, it
must be stipulated, for example, that it is for a period of an
hour, a day, a month, a year, or more.
A man can marry a girl younger than nine years of age, even if
the girl is still a baby being breastfed. A man, however is
prohibited from having intercourse with a girl younger than nine,
other sexual act such as forplay, rubbing, kissing and sodomy is
allowed. A man having intercourse with a girl younger than nine
years of age has not comitted a crime, but only an infraction, if
the girl is not permanently damaged. If the girl, however, is
permanently damaged, the man must provide for her all her life.
But this girl will not count as one of the man's four permanent
wives. He also is not permitted to marry the girl's sister.
A father or a paternal grandfather has the right to marry off
a child who is insane or has not reached puberty by acting as its
representative. The child may not annul such a marriage after
reaching puberty or regaining his sanity, unless the marriage is
to his manifest disadvantage.
Any girl who is of age, that is, capable of understanding what
is in her own best interest, if she wishes to get married and is
a virgin, must procure the authorization of her father or
paternal grandfather. The permission of her mother or brother is
not required.
A marriage is annulled if a man finds that his wife is
afflicted with one of the seven following disabilities: madness,
leprosy, eczema, blindness, paralysis with aftereffects,
malformation of the urinary and genital tracts or of the
genital-tract and rectum through conjoining thereof, or vaginal
malformation making Coitus impossible.
If a wife finds out after marriage that her husband is
suffering from mental illness, that he is a castrate, impotent,
or has had his testicles excised, she may apply for annulment of
her marriage.
If a wife has her marriage annulled because her husband is
unable to have sexual relations with her either vaginally or
anally, he must pay her as damages one-half of her mehryeh (her
price) specified in the marriage contract. If the husband or wife
annuls the marriage for any of the above-mentioned reasons, the
man owes nothing to the woman if they have had sexual relations
together; if they have not, he must pay her the full amount of
the dowry.
A Moslem woman may not marry a non-Moslem man; nor may a
Moslem man marry a non-Moslem woman in continuing marriage, but
he may take a Jewish or Christian woman in temporary
marriage.
A woman who has contracted a continuing marriage does not have
the right to go out of the house without her husband's
permission; she must remain at his disposal for the fulfillment
of any one of his desires, and may not refuse herself to him
except for a religiously valid reason. If she is totally
submissive to him, the husband must provide her with her food,
clothing, and lodging, whether or not he has the means to do
so.
A woman who refuses herself to her husband is guilty, and may
not demand from him food, clothing, lodging, or any later sexual
relations; however, she retains the right to be paid damages if
she is repudiated.
If a man who has married a girl who has not reached puberty
possesses her sexually before her ninth birthday, inflicting
traumatisms upon her, he has no right to repeat such an act with
her.
A man who has contracted a continuing marriage may not leave
his wife for so long a time as to allow her to question the
validity of the marriage; however, he is not obligated to spend
one night out of every four with her.
A husband must have sexual relations with his wife at least
once in every four months.
A woman who has been temporarily married in exchange for a
previously established dowry has no right to demand that her
daily expenses be paid by her husband, even when she becomes
pregnant.
A temporary marriage, even though only one of convenience, is
nevertheless legal.
A man must not abstain from having sexual relations with his
temporary wife for more than four months.
If a father (or paternal grandfather) marries off his daughter
(or granddaughter) in her absence without knowing for a certainty
that she is alive, the marriage becomes null and void as soon as
it is established that she was dead at the time of the
marriage.
To look upon the face and hair of a girl who has not reached
puberty, if it is done without intention of enjoyment thereof,
and if one is not afraid of succumbing to temptation, may be
tolerated. It is however recommended that one not look upon her
belly or thighs, which must remain covered.
To look upon the faces and hands of Jewish or Christian women,
if this is not done with intention of enjoyment thereof, and if
one does not fear temptation, is tolerated.
A woman must hide her body and her hair from the eyes of men.
It is highly recommended that she also hide them from those of
prepubic boys, if she suspects that they may look upon her with
lust.
If a man is called upon, for medical reasons, to look upon a
woman other than his wife and to touch her body, he is permitted
to do so,but if he can give such care by only looking at the body
he must not touch it, and if he can give it by only touching, he
must not look at it.
A woman who becomes pregnant as a result of adultery must not
have an abortion.
If a man commits adultery with an unmarried woman, and
subsequently marries her, the child born of that marriage will be
a bastard unless the parents can be sure it was conceived after
they were married.
A child born of an adulterous father is legitimate.
The best person to breast-feed a newborn baby it its own
mother. It is preferable that she not ask to be paid for such
service, but that her husband pay her for it of his own free
will. If the sum the mother asks for is greater than that charged
by a wet nurse, the husband is free to take the child from its
mother and turn it over to the wet nurse.
A man who repudiates his wife must be of sound mind and past
the age of puberty. He must do so of his own free will and
without any constraint; therefore, if the formula for divorce is
spoken in jest the marriage is not annulled.
A woman temporarily married, say, for a month or a year, has
her marriage automatically annulled at the end of that time, or
at any other time when the husband releases her from the balance
of her engagement. It is not necessary for this that there be any
witnesses, or that the woman have had her period.
A woman who has not yet reached the age of nine or a
menopausal woman may remarry immediately after divorce, without
waiting the hundred days that are otherwise required.
A woman who has had her ninth birthday, or who has not yet
entered menopause, must wait for three menstrual periods after
her divorce before being allowed to remarry. If a woman who has
not reached her ninth birthday or who has not entered menopause
gets temporarily married, she must, at the end of the contract or
when the husband has released her from part of it, wait two
menstrual periods or forty-five days before marrying again.
If the father or paternal grandfather of a boy has him marry a
woman for a temporary marriage, he may prematurely cancel it in
the boy's interest, even if the marriage was contracted before
the boy reached the age of puberty. If, for example, a
fourteen-year-old boy has been married off to a woman for a
period of two years, they may return her freedom to the woman
before this time has run its course; but a continuing marriage
cannot be broken in this way.
If a man repudiates his wife without informing her of it, and
continues to meet her expenses for a period of, say, a year, and
at the end of that time informs her that he got a divorce a year
earlier and shows her proof of it, he may require that she return
to him anything he has bought or given her during that time,
provided that she has not used it up or consumed it, in which
case he cannot demand its return.
If a child dies within the mother's womb and it is a danger to
her life to leave it there, it must be extracted in the easiest
way possible; it can. if need be, cut into pieces; this should be
done by the woman's husband or a midwife.
A woman who wishes to pursue her studies toward the end of
being able to earn her living through respectable work, and who
has a male teacher, may do so if she keeps her face covered and
has no contact with men; but if-that is inevitable, and religious
and moral tenets are thus undermined, she must give up her
studies. Girls and boys who attend coeducational classes in
grammar schools, high schools, universities, or other teaching
establishments, and who, in order to legalize such a situation,
wish to contract a temporary marriage may do so without the
permission of their fathers. The same applies if the boy and girl
are in love but hesitate to ask for such permission.
- In the mountains of Jamaica, among the Maroons, when a girl
is old enough to marry, her parents make a feast, and if a young
man agrees with the girl to live together, they are considered
married.
- In Silesia, the peasants celebrate their Marriages very
pompously. The bridal procession is headed by musicians, and the
wedding cortege and horses are gaily decked with ribbons. On the
Marriage morning, the bridegroom presents himself at the house of
the bride, and, after an infinity of prayers, refusals, and
cajoleries, the bride is brought forth. She is condemned to
listen to a long list of rules for her future conduct and
carriage. Then she gives her hand to her betrothed, and he lifts
her into the carriage. As they proceed to the church, the guests
eat cold provisions, and drink brandy.
After the ceremony at church, the party proceed to the bride's
house, where, for three days, they have dancing. Their guests are
given roast meat, cakes, beer, and spirits. After the three days
have passed, the bride departs in her husband's wagon, often
seated on the top of a pile of furniture, which is her dowry. The
first person who meets her in her new home, gives her a piece of
bread.
- When the Egyptian bride leaves her parents' home, for her
husband's, all her female friends and relatives accompany her,
veiled like herself, and march under a dais, preceded by
musicians and tumblers. The tumblers walk just before the ladies,
and go through with various gymnastics, some of which consist in
their standing upon their heads. After a sort of triumphal
progress, the procession stops at the house of the future
husband. Here the visitors are received, and the bride is
conducted to the nuptial hall, where the husband, who has never
seen his bride's face, though the marriage ceremony is over, is
waiting to receive her.
The husband then advances, and lifts the veil that has hitherto
hidden the features of the bride, and so perfect a command have
the Mussulmans, in general, that they seldom betray any sign of
pleasure or dissatisfaction at the beauty or plainness of the
ladies upon whom their choice has fallen. The only male
spectators of this ceremony are the brothers and father of the
bride, for in Egypt the women are so jealously guarded, that no
men are allowed to look at them from their infancy, except their
nearest relatives.
- In Siberia, the bride is required, on her arrival at her
husband's home, to invite guests to a dinner prepared by herself,
and if pronounced good , it is a recommendation which is above
all things to be desired by a woman.
- In Japan, the bride's teeth are made black by some corrosive
liquid to show that she is married. The laws allow man to marry
all relatives except sisters.
- In India, the Hindoo widows are not allowed to marry, however
young they may be. The very day a girl becomes a widow, her
colored clothes, silver and golden ornaments are all taken off.
Henceforth, she has to dress in white, and wear no ornaments of
any kind whatever during her lifetime. Her daily meals are
reduced to one, and that is prepared in the simplest way
possible. She is strictly prohibited the use of any sort of
animal food. Each widow is required to cook her own food, and to
abstain entirely from food and drink two days in every month. On
the fast days, when the burning sun dries up the ponds and
scorches the leaves of the trees, these poor victims faint and
pant in hunger and thirst. If they are dying, a little water will
be put on the lips merely to wet them. They have no hope of ever
changing their widowhood in the world.
A recent change in the law, however, now allows the marriage of
widows, and a learned Brahmin, the Principal of Calcutta Sanscrit
College, is earnestly engaged in redeeming their condition, by
introducing the system of widow marriage.
- Among some tribes of the North American Indians, the suitor
enters the wigwam of the squaw he wishes to marry, and proceeding
to the farthest corner of the room, commences throwing a few
kernels of corn at the object of his affections, and if she
retreats to another corner, and returns the throwing, his
addresses are acceptable, but if she leaves the wigwam, he
returns to his own. In another tribe, the lover leaves a violin
near the door, and if it is taken in by the squaw, he returns and
entertains her with music.
- In France the man must be at least eighteen years of age and
the woman fifteen to contract a valid marriage, unless the
President of the Republic grants a special dispensation.
- In England the common law rule of fourteen for males and
twelve for females governs the marriage age. Consent of parents
is necessary for persons under twenty-one, except for a widow or
widower. Soldiers must get the consent of their commander.
- In Scotland the impediments are the same as in England, but
no consent of parents or guardian is required. Regular marriages
are celebrated by some minister of religion in the presence of at
least two witnesses, after the publication of banns or issuance
of registrar's certificate. Irregular marriages are clandestine
marriages, celebrated without publication of banns or notice to
the registrar. Such marriages may be made by mere consent without
a clergyman and are valid.
- In Ireland provisions are made for marriages by
Episcopalians, Catholics, and Presbyterians, by ministers of
other denominations, and by the civil registrars. The impediments
to marriage are substantially the same as in England.
- In Germany a man may not marry, except in unusual cases,
under the age of twenty-one or a woman under the age of sixteen.
Military men, public officials, and foreigners, before marriage,
must obtain a special permit, and military men in active service
must also obtain the consent of their officers.
- In Italy the consent of the parents or next of kin is
required for men under twenty-five years of age and for women
under twenty-one years of age. Foreigners desiring to marry in
Italy must present a certificate from a competent authority that
they have satisfied the requirements of the laws of their own
country. Military officials cannot marry without the royal
permission, which is not given unless they have an assured income
of about eight hundred dollars at least, and have made a
settlement for the benefit of the bride.
- In the Netherlands the consent of parents is required of an
individual under thirteen years of age. Officers of the army and
navy require the consent of the sovereign before they can marry,
and no man between the ages of eighteen and forty may marry
unless he has proved he has performed military service or has
been excused from it.
- In Switzerland the consent of parents is required of all
persons under twenty years of age. The consent of parents is
required also in Belgium of all persons under the age of
twenty-five, the law being somewhat similar to that of
France.
- In Russia children must obtain the consent of their parents
if living, without regard to their age, a man attaining the
marriageable age at eighteen and a woman at sixteen.
- In Denmark the marriageable age is twenty for men and sixteen
for women, and consent of parents must be obtained by minors
under the age of twenty-five.
- In Sweden females under the age of twenty-one require the
consent of a marriage guardian, usually her father or brother or
some other male relative. Men may marry at the age of twenty-one
or over, and women at the age seventeen or over.
- In Norway the marriageable age for men is twenty and for
women sixteen. Parental consent is necessary for both parties
under the age of eighteen.
- In Japan the consent of parents or of the family council is
essential to the marriage of a man under thirty and of a woman
under twenty-five.
- The marriage laws of the different Canadian province are not
uniform but are quite similar. The minimum age for marriage in
the Province of Quebec is fourteen for males and twelve for
females. Parental consent is necessary for any one under
twenty-one years of age. In Quebec alone of the Canadian
Provinces illegitimate children are legitimated by the marriage
of their parents.
- The laws of Australia and New Zealand are based upon the
English statutes and common law.
Buddhist Views on Marriage
In Buddhism, marriage is regarded as entirely a personal,
individual concern and not as a religious duty.
Marriage is a social convention, an institution created by man
for the well-being and happiness of man, to differentiate human
society from animal life and to maintain order and harmony in the
process of procreation.
Even though the Buddhist texts are silent on the subject of
monogamy or polygamy, the Buddhist laity is advised to limit
themselves to one wife. The Buddha did not lay rules on married
life but gave necessary advice on how to live a happy married
life. There are ample inferences in His sermons that it is wise
and advisable to be faithful to one wife and not to be sensual
and to run after other women.
The Buddha realized that one of the main causes of man's
downfall is his involvement with other women (Parabhava
Sutta).Man must realize the difficulties, the trials and
tribulations that he has to undergo just to maintain a wife and a
family.
Knowing the frailties of human nature, the Buddha did, in one
of His precepts, advise His followers of refrain from committing
adultery or sexual misconduct.
Types of Ancient Roman Marriage
The first and most traditional type of marriage was called
confarreatio. This was a marriage limited to patricians whose
parents were also married with confarreatio. The wedding was an
elaborate ceremony with the Flamen Dialis and Pontifex Maximus
presiding, as well as ten witnesses present. The woman passed
directly from the manus of her paterfamilias to that of her new
husband. Divorce for confarreatio marriages, diffarreatio, was a
difficult process and therefore rare. Not much is known about how
diffarreatio was carried out except that there was a special type
of sacrifice that caused the dissolution of the relationship
between the man and woman. She would then pass back into the
manus of her paterfamilias.
The second and more common type of marriage with manus was
called coemptio. It represented a "bride purchase," as the groom
paid nummus usus, a penny, and received the bride in exchange.
While this purchase was not a real sale, it symbolized the
traditional bride purchases of earlier societies. Only five
witnesses were required and the wedding ceremony was much less
formal 8than confarreatio, but the bride still passed to her
husband's manus.
A third type of marriage is a bit more unusual and was
obsolete by the end of the Republic. Usus was a practical
marriage that did not require an actual wedding ceremony; it was
a transfer to the manus of the husband by default after
cohabitation. There was probably some honorable intention stated
at the beginning of the cohabitation, an adfectus maritalis. The
only requirement for an usus marriage was that the man and woman
cohabitate for one full year. The woman would then pass into her
husband's manus. There was one loophole, however. If, within that
year, the woman was away for three consecutive nights, she would
not pass into the manus of her husband.
- In India the bride and bridegroom march seven times round the
sacred fire. On the fourth day, they dine together in public. On
the fifth day, an offering of rice is sacrificed, the only
religious ceremony except suttee, to which a woman is admitted.
The ceremonies terminate by a triumphal procession.
- In Sicily, marriages are according to the rites of the Greek
Church. The bride is richly dressed in the ancient costume of
gold and silver brocade, ornamented with precious stones. She
walks to church with the bridegroom, leaning on his arm, while
just before them, a number of musicians walk leisurely alone,
enlivening the occasion with music. A boy in a long white robe
accompanies the wedding party, carrying on his head a basket
containing two nuptial crowns, and two wedding rings, one of gold
and the other of silver.
At the moment the Priest gives the gold ring to the man, and the
silver one to the woman, the crowns are placed on their heads,
and they promise to love and cherish one another all their lives.
The Priest then blesses a goblet of wine, and the bride and
bridegroom both drink from the same glass, and divide a morsel of
bread. The Priest lays his hands upon their heads and pronounces
the blessings of the church upon them. The veil which hides them
from the gaze of the spectators is withdrawn, and the ceremony
closes with a grave dance in the church, the music being from the
organ and orchestra. The Priest and his clerk take part in the
dance.
- In Prussia, the minister gives his services in marrying
people, and makes the bride a present.
- In the good old times, a Persian girl who owned a little
property--a hut of fishing boat-- was thereby authorized to
select a husband herself. If she wished to commence her search
for a husband, she hung up her blue apron in front of the door of
the house, and posted herself behind it. The young men of the
village passed by the apron one by one in a long procession,
dressed in their best Sunday clothes. As soon as the right one
appeared, the girl rushed out, threw her arms around his neck,
and within three weeks there was a wedding.
- In Syria, a few years ago, 3,000 Christian girls were carried
off to Turkey, and sold as wives, the sale being the only
marriage ceremony.
- The ceremony of marriage in Java is very curious. The bride
and bridegroom are brought before the Dukum or Priest, in the
house they are to inhabit. They make an obeisance towards the
south, then to the hearth, or fireplace, which is to be the scene
of their domestic bliss. The third obeisance is towards the
earth. Next, they raise their eyes to the upper story of the
house for a few moments, after which the Priest says a long
prayer, asking for a blessing of both husband and wife. The wife
then goes through a ceremony indicative of her humility and
willingness to serve her husband in all things, by washing his
feet in public; after which the friends make them presents of
household implements, in return for which they offer their
friends betel nuts.
- Among a tribe of people called Kocch, that live on the hills
in India, as soon as a couple are married, the bridegroom goes to
live with the family of the bride, and all his property is made
over to her.
- In the island of Celebes, men were allowed to marry as many
wives as they could support, just as they are in Utah, under
Brigham Young.
- In Hungary, they do not marry very young. The gentlemen pays
marked attention to the lady for three, four, and sometimes five
years. The gentleman employs an agent to exchange rings with the
lady, and ask her hand. The bride's father, in the presence of
several witnesses, gives his consent. On the wedding morning, the
young man's friends repair with joyous shouts, to the house of
the bride's father, for the purpose of carrying off the bride,
whom they conduct to church with the bridegroom.
After the ceremonies at church, the pair are escorted to the
bride's home, amid firing of pistols, guns, and all the village
artillery. The nuptial house is generally found closed, and
stones are hurled at the door. When the door is opened, a table
is seen, sumptuously covered with viands. The heroes of the
occasion are seated with their intimate friends, and the whole
company observe deep silence, while the blessing is asked. The
proceedings terminate with a dancing party.
- On the Sunday morning preceding a marriage in Bretagne, every
invited guest sends a present to the young couple. On the bridal
day, a band of music leads in a procession of friends who repair
to the bride's house, where the door is immediately opened by a
man with a wand in his hand, who points out to the party, in a
long rhymed speech, that there is a castle somewherein the
neighbourhood, where so gallant a company cannot fail to be well
entertained. The bridegroom has also brought his poet, who gives
verse for verse, and compliment for compliment.
When the company demand the bride, the wrong person is brought
forward. First an old woman, then a child, then a widow, and
afterwards one of the bridesmaids. When this sport has continued
until the patience of the company is exhausted and the
bridegroom's poet's poetry, the real bride is brought forth to
greet her betrothed, amidst the shouts of happiness that are
heard from the party.
- In Ireland, at the fair of Galway, it is a custom for all the
marriageable girls to assemble and to tempt all wanting men, by
their captivating charms, to be made more happy for life. Says an
American gentleman of the highest character, who was an eye
witness, and invited by a nobleman to go and see these girls:
"At twelve o'clock precisely, we went, as directed,
to a part of the ground higher than the rest of the field, where
we found from sixty to a hundred young women, well-dressed, with
good looks and good manners, and presenting a spectacle quite
worthy any civil man looking at, and in which I can assure my
readers there was nothing to offend any civil or modest man's
feelings. There were the marriageable girls of the country, who
had come to show themselves, on the occasion, to the young men
and others who wanted wives; and this was the plain and simple
custom of the fair. I can plainly say that I saw in the custom no
very great impropriety--it certainly did not imply that, though
they were ready to be had, anybody could have them. It was not a
Circassian slave market, where the richest purchaser could make
his selection. They were, in no sense of the term, on sale; nor
did they abandon their right of choice; but that which is done
constantly in more refined society, under various covers and
pretences--at theatres, at balls and public exhibitions, I will
say nothing of churches--was done by these humble and
unpretending people in this straightforward manner."
- The Marriage ceremony in Turkey is as follows--A man sends
his negro Eunuch to compel a woman he fancies to come to
him--after an examination by the future husband, she is turned
into his harlem if she suits him. A man is allowed seven wives in
one house, and can have as many times seven as he has houses in
different towns. When he becomes tired of a wife she is turned
out to go her way. The Eunuch is master over these unfortunate
women, acting like a shepherd dog, keeping them herded together,
and not allowing any one but the Turk to see them.
These women have no education, and are not required to do any
work. The one that can master the rest is the favourite with the
Turk. It is lawful for him to kill a wife if she violates his
rules.
- In Russia, the marriageable women are put in market once a
year, and the men walk about and view them, and when one is seen
that is fancied, a card is put into her hand--she hands hers to
the admirer, and the courtship commences.
- In Greece, a man will not marry so long as he has a
marriageable sister. The youngest son believes it is his first
duty to see his sisters all provided with husbands.
- In some parts of South America, many do not marry until they
have raised families. They can marry and have their children
baptized, and they inherit the property. But if this is
neglected, the property all goes to the church, and the family is
left destitute.
- Among the Nestorians, on the wedding night, the bridegroom
gave the bride a kick with his foot and commanded her to pull off
her shoes as a token of her submission.
- Plutarch says that the Spartans always carried off their
brides by a feigned force, in order to make it a legal Marriage.
A Spartan woman appeared in public until she was married, but
ever after she wore a veil.
- In ancient Assyria all the marriageable young girls were sold
in a public place at auction, and all the women were provided
with husbands. Those who were very handsome sold for large sums,
and the money was divided among the plain-looking ones.
- A tribe of people in Barbary called Nasamones used to marry
by drinking out of each other's hands. The parents arranged the
match, and the bride's face was unveiled by the husband for the
first time on their wedding day.
It has been stated that in some country the young lady rides a
fleet horse, and if she desires to marry, she allows herself to
be overtaken, but if the wrong suitor is likely to overtake her,
she drops a golden apple, and while he is picking it up, the one
she wishes to marry is allowed to overtake her.
- I.S. Deihl, the celebrated Lecturer on Oriental and Bible
Lands, relates many curious customs, among which are the two
following:
In Armenia the young woman is brought to the mother
of her affianced, who, in an angry manner, throws her a bundle of
infant's clothes, places a little one in her arms and watches the
Miss, who nervously dresses the babe, and if to the satisfaction
of the future mother-in-law, she is allowed to marry, but if not,
she is sent home to take fresh lessons in the art of
baby-dressing.
- In some places, the Circassian women are taken to a market
and sold as wives to the highest bidder. Among the Circassians, a
young woman is put on a horse's back, and compelled to ride over
the plains until caught by some man, the catching being the only
Marriage ceremony. It sometimes occurs that the husband is a
speculator, and as soon as she is caught, he sends his property
on another equestrian tour, and sells her to the successful
capturer.
- In some of the German states, a young woman lives with her
affianced mother a year before her marriage, that she may learn
all about household matters.
- In the former Persia, the business of the bridegroom was
transacted by an agent, and the contract is one of barter. The
wedding festivities at the bride's house last for ten days. On
the last day the bridegroom sends the bride her trousseau, which
consists of rich jewels, dresses and sometimes slaves and
attendants. All sorts of wealth is displayed, and sometimes a
great pretension is make, by carrying empty boxes. The bride is
brought to the husband's house mounted on a camel , or a horse.
The Marriage itself is entirely an affair of bargain
and sale, as the bride is taken in consideration of a certain
dowry. Now and then the husband objects and the last moment to
ratify the engagement he has made, and when his bride is brought
home to him, refuses to receive her, stating himself unable or
unwilling to pay so much. Then follows a long scene of
bargaining, always, however, ending in a compromise, for it would
be a great disgrace to the bride to be sent back. The marriage is
seldom intended to last the lifetime of either
party.
- Marriages in Norway are usually solemnized in winter, when
the people are comparatively unoccupied. A week before the
ceremony is to take place, messengers are sent around to invite
the proprietors and servants of neighboring farms. The room in
which the ceremony is to take place, is decorated with green
boughs. After a substantial breakfast, the betrothed couple are
brought forward by their relatives, and seated in state in the
great room, where the priest blesses them, and when the prayers
are finished, proceeds to a table, on which is placed a large
plate. Addressing the company generally, he recommends the couple
to their notice. The relatives then come forward, and deposit
bright new crown pieces in the plate; then come the rich
neighbors, who contribute according to their means, and lastly,
the poorer friends, who each throw in their mite, towards setting
up the household of the new-make wife. The festivities are kept
up for two or three days.
- In Persia, they formerly believed that married people were
happier after death than single ones, and so if a person died
single, they would marry some one to the corpse before burial.
Some people hired persons to be espoused to their relatives who
had died single and were buried without having been married.
- In India, on the Malabar coast, among some of the lower
castes, a man can have but one wife, while a woman may have three
husbands. All three contribute to the support of the
children.