Chocolate

Top 10 Reasons why Chocolate is Better than Sex:

1. When you have chocolate it does not keep you neighbours awake.
2. You are never too young or too old for chocolate.
3. Good chocolate is not hard to find.
4. With chocolate there's no need to fake it.
5. You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face slapped.
6. You can have chocolate on top of your desk during office hours without upsetting your co-workers.
7. The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate.
8. You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.
9. You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.
10. You can GET chocolate.

Top 10 Reasons Why... Chocolate is Better Than a Car

1. It's edible.
2. No payments.
3. Chocolate won't backfire.
4. Cops won't pull you over for eating chocolate too fast.
5. Chocolate accidents are rare.
6. Chocolate won't rust.
7. You don't need a key.
8. It's tougher for thieves to steal your chocolate.
9. Chocolate never hurts pedestrians.
10. You don't have to wax chocolate.

Top 10 Reasons Why... Chocolate is Better Than Air

1. If you don't get any chocolate in the next 3 minutes, you'll still be alive.
2. Chocolate smells better.
3. Chocolate has taste.
4. You can see chocolate.
5. You can embrace chocolate.
6. Chocolate won't mess up your hairdo.
7. Chocolate won't lift your skirt up.
8. Swallowing chocolate won't make you belch.
9. Big city chocolate is not polluted.
10. It's okay to be full of hot chocolate.

Top 10 Reasons Why... Chocolate is Better Than Kissing

1. Chocolate is readily available.
2. Chocolate won't give you a cold.
3. Chocolate won't dry your lips.
4. You can eat chocolate in front of your parents.
5. Chocolate lasts longer.
6. You can have chocolate on the job.
7. Chocolate doesn't have bad breath.
8. You can have chocolate at any age.
9. Chocolate has no nose to get in the way.
10. You don't have to pucker.

Top 10 Reasons Why... Chocolate is Better Than a Blind Date:

1. Chocolate is always compatible.
2. You don't have to dress up for chocolate.
3. Chocolate won't be late.
4. Chocolate can be short or tall, and it's still perfect.
5. Chocolate won't tell corny jokes.
6. Chocolate won't take you to a dumb movie.
7. Chocolate won't bore you.
8. Chocolate won't run out of gas or get a flat tire.
9. Chocolate won't ask you for money.
10. Chocolate doesn't expect a good night kiss.

Top 10 Reasons Why... Chocolate is better than a vacation:

1. You can afford chocolate.
2. You don't need a reservation.
3. Weather doesn't matter.
4. You don't need to schedule chocolate.
5. You don't have to board your pets.
6. No packing.
7. Chocolate always speaks your language.
8. No sunburn.
9. You won't lose your traveler's checks while eating chocolate.
10. No postcards to send.

History of Chocolate - Food of the Gods

Chocolate begins with a bean ... a cacao bean. It has been mashed and eaten for centuries. The history of chocolate spans from 200 B.C. to the present, encompassing many nations and peoples of our world.
The scientific name of the cacao tree's fruit is "Theobroma Cacao" which means "food of the gods." In fact, the cacao bean was worshipped as an idol by the Mayan Indians over 2,000 years ago. In 1519, Hernando Cortez tasted "Cacahuatt," a drink enjoyed by Montezuma II, the last Aztec emperor. Cortez observed that the Aztecs treated cacao beans, used to make the drink, as priceless
treasures. He subsequently brought the beans back to Spain where the chocolate drink was made and then heated with added sweeteners. Its formula was kept a secret to be enjoyed by nobility. Eventually, the secret was revealed and the drink's fame spread to other lands.

By the mid-1600s, the chocolate drink had gained widespread popularity in France. One enterprising Frenchman opened the first hot chocolate shop in London. By the 1700s, chocolate houses were as prominent as coffee houses in England.

The New World's first chocolate factory opened in 1765 in the Massachusetts Bay Colony. Sixty years later, Conrad Van Houten, a Dutch chemist, invented a cocoa press that enabled confectioners to make chocolate candy by mixing cocoa butter with finely ground sugar.
In 1876, Daniel Peter, a Swiss candymaker, developed milk chocolate by adding condensed milk to chocolate liquor - the nonalcoholic by-product of the cocoa bean's inner meat. The Swiss also gave the chocolate a smoother texture through a process called "conching." The name was derived from a Greek term meaning "sea shell" and refered to the shape of old mixing vats where particles in the chocolate mixture were reduced to a fine texture.

Candyman

(From "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory")

Who can take a sunrise Sprinkle it with dew
Cover it in chocolate And a miracle or two?
The candyman The candyman can
The candyman can cause he mixes it with love
And makes the world taste good
Who can take a rainbow Wrap it in a sigh
Soak it in the sun And make the strawberry lemon pie?
The candyman? The candyman The candyman can
The candyman can cause he mixes it with love
And makes the world taste good
Willy Wonka makes Everything he bakes
Satisfying and delicious
Talk about your childhood wishes
You can even eat the dishes
Who can take tomorrow
Dip it in a dream Separate the sorrow
And collect up all the cream?
The candyman Willy Wonka can The candyman can
The candyman can cause he mixes it with love
And makes the world taste good
And the world tastes good
Cause the candyman thinks it should