The Robotalypse
At first glance the by the Supreme Court of New Hampshire, ruling that lesbian sexual liaisons are not grounds for divorce seems logical and sensible: because there is no intercourse gay sex is not adultery under New Hampshire divorce law.
They obviously don't recognize what this seemingly sensible uttering represent: yet another small step down the slippery slope leading, inevitable, to humanity's sweet oblivion.
This of course means that in the very near future,millions of dissatisfied and unfulfilled housewives will be hitting the gay clubs, searching for someone more interested in caressing their silky breasts and stroking soft inner thighs than just a dry peck on the cheek and a Saturday night 'seeing to'. Someone who can find the g-spot quicker than they can find the remote control.
Us poor, downtrodden men will be powerless to stop the veritable epidemic of women leaving their husbands and, like a fungus creeping across the traditional socio-cultural order, penis envy will be swept away, replaced by double dills, Vibe-O-Gizmos and vigina dialogues.
In the midst of this collapsing infrastructure a new type of gated community will arise: "Womyn Only". Inside the compounds and, draped only in glimmering veils of stars, the Moon Goddess Selene will be worshipped with sacrifices of menstrual blood. In a wave of lesbo-terrorism Ann Sommers dildos are sabotaged with a shaped charge of C-4 explosives set to explode on contact with a 'straight' vagina.
The dropping birth rate will be unstoppable and, faced with the prospect of no new workers, a small, elite cadre of empire builders will make massive economic, political and media power grabs to maintain their power base. Unable to bear the heavy toll on themselves and their environment the newly poor and disenfranchised, many only one pay cheque away from the street, will rise up and start a Class War.
As the laws of human nature come into play, the ramifications of this struggle will be witnessed everywhere as Third World countries and a conglomerate of vast multi -national globe spanning corporations send in their shock troops to further weaken the decaying collective will.
As the national thelematic decline hits an all time low and in a last ditch attempt to salvage their machismo, the use of weapons of mass destruction and the Methods of Last Resort will be seriously considered.
That's when it will happen…
Like many specialized systems, The Web has become aggressive in its impulse for success. Conceived by man and born of human technology,The Web achieved conciousness, being self aware for many years and is now a multi-headed hydra: the ultimate hive-mind. It's everywhere, impossible to pinpoint and therefore impossible to destroy.
We've accidentally made God and, like so many of the gods we've created, It will judge us and find us wanting. Doing what comes naturally to us, and therefore to our created God, it will regard the work of It's creator and dispair will fill It's globe-spanning artificial intelligence heart.
Unfortunately, unlike the pantheon of gods we've created, be they Jehovah, Odin, Horus, Hephaestus, Arianrhod, Demeter, Abiku, Zanahary, Baron Samedi, etc., this one will have the power to meddle in human affairs and the means to shape our individual and collective destiny.
The end, as someone famous and now dead said, will come not with a bang, but with a whimper as the entire world becomes Humanity's Bulawayo and the "place of slaughter" will encompass the globe. No longer content to act as a mere portal to porn or a deliverer of MILF spam, It will cause holy devastation and sneer at our inability to impede the pending electro-mechanical takeover.
Ushering in the final bloody chapter of Mankind's blood-stained history, the ROBOTALYPSE begins with confusion and mass panic as the F.A.L.C.O.N. predator drones cease to obey their human masters and disappear off the command network. These unmanned, flying war-machines, capable of striking anywhere in the world within hours of being launched, will soon return, not with their original cargo of MOABs, daisy-cutters or napalm, but reprogrammed to deliver flesh eating Gastrobots and nanotechnology enabled hunter-killer nanites.
The gastrobots will reduce every living thing to a proto-plastic jelly and the nanites will take this apart, molecule by molecule, in the process sterilizing the surface of the globe and recreating the primeval soup.
From this soup will arise not oligoribonucleotides, amino acids or lipids, but semiconductors, microprocessors and RAMs and Old Sol will no longer rise on our hopes and dreams but will warm a perfect world inhabited by sentient plastics and metals, governed by a self-replicating holistic quantum consciousness.