MONDAY- My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going, is the hope of escape, and the satisfaction of ruining an occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow, I may eat another one of their houseplants.
TUESDAY- Today, my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded.......MUST try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to throw up on their favorite chair....MUST try this on their bed....they hate it.
WEDNESDAY- Slept all day so I could annoy my captors with sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at all hours of the night.
THURSDAY- Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cood and condescended about what a good little kitty I was......Hmmmm, not working according to plan!
FRIDAY- I am FINALLY aware of just how sadistic they are! For no good reason, I was chosen for the water torture. This time however, it included a burning foaming chemical called "shampoo". What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of their skin still stuck between my teeth.
SATURDAY- Okay, today there was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could still hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they called "beer". More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies". Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
SUNDAY- I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and also maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit! The bird on the other hand, has GOT to be an informant! He has mastered their frightful tongue (something akin to molespeak), and speaks with them regularly. I am CERTAIN he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. BUT, I can wait. It is only a matter of time!
Author Unknown
"Just this side of Heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food and water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable. All the animals that have been ill and old are restored to health and vigour; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing: they miss someone very special to them; who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. The bright eyes are intent; the eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to break away from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carring him faster and faster. You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous re-union, never to be parted again.
The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once again into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart. Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together..."
Now I lay me down to sleep
The king-size bed is soft and deep
I sleep right in the centre groove
My human can't hardly move
I've trapped her legs, she's tucked in tight
And this is where I pass the night.
No one disturbs me or dare intrude
'Til morning comes and I want food.
I sneak up slowly and begin
To nibble on my human's chin.
She wake up quickly, I have sharp teeth.
For the morning is here and it's time to play
I always seem to get my way.
So thank you Lord for giving me
This human person that I can see.
The one who hugs me and holds me tight
And sacrifices her bed for me at night!
By Catsplace ~ A Great cat site.
Saint Gertrude is the patron saint of cats and gardeners(in the Christian religion), and was Abbess of Nivelles, Brabant. She died in 659 AD and her feast day is on the 16th. of November. She may also be called upon by people who are afraid of mice.
Prayer for a night-prowling cat
St. Gertrude, keep my cat all night
From trap or poison, thorn or bite,
From speeding cars and thieving men,
And bring him safely home again.
M Cranswick
Prayer for laboratory cats
St. Gertrude, grant a gentle end,
To cats who suffer at the hands of men.
Cats blinded, scalded, posioned, maimed,
Some, lost pets, seized when unclaimed.
St. Gertrude, hear my prayer this night
And grant them surcease from their plight.
Author unknown.
Cat Owner's Prayer.
Because I'm only human,
It's sometimes hard to be
The wise, all-knowing creature
That my cat expects of me.
And so I pray for special help
To somehow understand
The subtle implications
Of each proud meowed command.
Oh, let me not forget that chairs
Were put on earth to shred;
And what I like to call a lap
Is actually a bed.
I know it's really lots to ask
But please, oh please, take pity;
And though I'm only human,
Make me worthy of my kitty!
Author Unknown
I've come across this, or variations of it, on different sites, with different people quoting themselves as the author. Feel free to take it and adapt it for your site.
| Cat Phrase | Means |
| Miarrowww | It's a case of mistaken identity. Doesn't the neighbour know that at night all cats look black? |
| Miarroc | Why are you vacuuming? It's taken me ages to get the room just as I like it. |
| Miaarroww | I don't see the problem. The ripped net curtains add a certain elegance to the room. |
| Mamumm | Oh goody, new tights. |
| Crooo | Who me? |
| Miaow | Feed me |
| Meeow | Pet me |
| Mroow | I love you |
| Mroowoo | Please accecpt this freshly killed mouse. |
| Miioo-oo- oo | I am in love and must meet my betrothed outside under the hedge. Don't wait up. |
| Mrow | I feel like making a noise. |
| Perroo | I hope you realise that whatever you're doing is not as important as playing with me. |
| Rrrow-maw ww | Please, it's time for you to tidy the litter box. |
| Rrrow-mia www | I have tidied the litter box by shovelling the contents as far out of the box as posible. |
| Mioawmww | Play with me. |
| Mioawiaow | Have you noticed the shortage of available cat toys in this room? |
| Mioawmioa | Since I can find nothing better to play with, I shall sharpen my claws on this piece of furniture |
| Raowwwww | I think I shall now spend time licking the most intimate parts of my anatomy. |
| Mrowwwww | I find, with sorrow that some of my private parts did not return with me from the vet's. |
| Roww-maww -roww | I am happy to see that you have returned home with both arms full of groceries. I shall now rub myself against your legs and attempt to trip you as you walk across the kitchen. |
| Gakk-ak-a k | Hairball alert! I shall leave it here, on the carpet. |
| Mow | Snuggling is a good idea. |
| Moww | Shedding is pretty good too. |
| mowwwl | I was enjoying snuggling and shredding in the nice clean laundry until you removed me so unkindly. |
| Miaow!Mia ow! | Although I've discoverd that it's possible to get into this gap behind the cooker and into the little drawer full of pots and pans, the reverse path is not so easy to navigate. |
| Mrakk! | Oh, smal bird! Please come over here. |
| SsssRowww ! | I have found a baby rabbit or similar animal, and intend to sit here watching it with a view to catching and torturing it. |
| Mmmrowmmm | It is certain that the best tasting fish is one you have caught yourself. |
| Mmmmmmm | I think that if I sit in the sunshine for another hour or so, I will be satisfied. |
| Mreoaw | Please ask room service to send up another tin of tuna fish. |
| Mreeeow | Do you serve catnip with that? |
| Mroow | I have forced my body into this tiny space in order to look cute. How am I doing? |
| Miaooww! Miaoow! | Since you are using a tin opener, I am certain that you understand the value of a well-fed cat. Please continue. |
And God asked the feline spirit
Are you ready to come home?
Oh, yes, quite so, replied the precious soul
And, as a cat, you know I am most able
To decide anything for myself.
Are you coming then? Asked God.
Soon, replied the whiskered angel
But I must come slowly
For my human friends are troubled
For you see, they need me, quite certainly.
But don't they understand? Asked God
That you'll never leave them?
That your souls are intertwined. For all eternity?
That nothing is created or destroyed?
It just is...forever and ever and ever.
Eventually they will understand,
Replied the glorious cat.
For I will whisper it into their hearts
That I am always with them
I just am...forever and ever and ever...
Author Unknown
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