Some Odd Exits And Popular Suicide Methods
Shuffling Off This Mortal Coil
From The Darwin Awards - 23 January 2004
It didn't quite work out the way he'd planned..
In FRANCE, Jacques LeFevrier left nothing to chance when he decided to commit suicide. He stood at the top of a tall cliff and tied a noose around his neck. He tied the other end of the rope to a large rock. He drank some poison and set fire to his clothes. He even tried to shoot himself at the last moment. He jumped and fired the pistol.
The bullet missed him completely and cut through the rope above him. Free of the threat of hanging, he plunged into the sea. The sudden dunking extinguished the flames and made him vomit the poison. He was dragged out of the water by a kind fisherman and was taken to a hospital, where he died of hypothermia.
Darwin Awards 2003
First Place Candidate for last year's Darwin Awards.
When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a holdup in Long Beach, California, would be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder: He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
The Greek painter Zeuxis laughed so much at one of his own paintings he broke a blood vessel and died.
Claudius, the Emperor of Rome, choked to death on a feather.
Allan Pinkerton, the founder of the detective agency, stumbled during his morning walk, bit his tongue and died of gangrene.
At Charles 11 deathbed he was attended by 14 doctors. To try and cure him they bled him of pints of blood, made him vomit and open his bowels, fed him gall stones and essence of a dead man's skull. His lasts words were to apoligize for taking " a most unconscionable time dying".
Arnold Bennett, the novelist, died in Paris of typhoid contracted from a glass of water he drank to prove that Parisian water was fit to drink.
Exotic dancer Isadora Duncan was strangled to death when her long scarf became entangled in the wheels of a motorcar.
The French composer Jean Baptiste Lully met his maker as the result of his habit of pounding the floor with a large pointed cane as he conducted. One day he accidentally struck his foot with the cane so violently that he got blood poisoning and died.
Roman consul Fabius choked to death on a single goat hair in the milk he was drinking.
In 1986 an Indonesian MP had just succeeded in getting a hearse for the local hospital when he was killed in a road accident. He became the hearse's first passenger.
In 1981 German newspapers reported that a woman believed she could stimulae her rather somnolent husband by frightening him. One day, as she heard him come in the front door, she hid in a cupboard and then jumped out at him screaming. Unfortunately, he was so scared he ran away, tripped on a carpet and plunged to his death from an upstairs window.
The Chinese Poet Li Po died when, on a boat, he leaned over the side to kiss the moon's reflection on the water, fell in and drowned.
Pope Hadrian IV died when a fly stuck in his troat as he was drinking from a water fountain.
The Greek playwright Aeschylus was killed when an eagle dropped a tortoise on his head.
Before John Farmer died he left instructions that broken glass was to scattered around his feet in his mausoleum. Why? "Because otherwise the worms would eat me, the ducks would eat the worms and my family would eat the ducks. And I don't want to be eaten by my relatives."
Attila the Hun is alleged to have died of a burst blood vessel when he got too excited by a virgin.
Tsar Paul I of Russia was so sensitive about his baldness that he decreed that anyone mentioning it was to be flogged to death.
King Gustav of Sweden was so convinced that coffee was dangerous he sentenced a criminal to drink himself to death with it. The "execution" lasted until the man was 83.
Austrian Hans Steininger, who had the longest beard in the world, tripped over it one day when he was climbing a staircase and fell to his death.
Harry Houdini, the escapologist, died when a student punched him in the stomach without warning. The student had heard that Houdini could take hard blows without pain but had not realized that this was only after Houdini had tensed his muscles to prepare for the blow.
George of Epirus was born during the funeral of his mother. The pall bearers heard crying from the coffin and, when they opened it, he slipped out of the womb totally healthy.
Popular Suicide Methods
Many thanks to the now, apparently defunct, Asan Kangaroo for this chart.
Disclaimer:the views reflected here are not those of either myself or ASAN. You are not being encouraged, incited, induced, seduced,or suggested to commit suicide!
If you feel that you can't carry on: Help Line Phone Numbers
How to help a suicidal friend or relative How To Help A Friend
If you are thinking about suicide, visit this site first this first It has many helpful techniques to keep on going when it's hard not to. It has resources on hotlines as well as information about depression
Do You Want To See Me Broken? has articles on PTSD, MPD / DID, Borderline Personality Disorder, Depression, Self-Injury, Suicide, Eating Disorders and Substance Abuse
Suicide Awareness\Voices of Education (SA\VE) A comprehensive site on the various aspects of suicide. It also has email fact sheets on what to do when someone you know is suicidal. It also has Q and A's on depression.
You can contact a befriender or try one of the following organizations:
International Federation of Telephone Emergency Services - IFOTES
American Association of Suicidology
Canadian Association of Suicide Prevention - CASP
International Association for Suicide Prevention - IASP
The Yellow Ribbon Suicide Prevention Program is an awareness program that reaches out to teens to find alternatives to suicide.
Style |
Description |
Painful? |
Effective? |
Comments |
| Sweet and Simple | Gun shot to mouth or temple | No (unless you miss) | Yes,survival rate is
low |
One of the fastest,most
reliable ways, popular with men |
| Two's a crowd | Shoot your riend,co-worker,boss,or stranger,AND yourself | Strangely satisfying |
Depends on your aim | If you attempt this method be sure not to miss yourself! |
| Suicide by cop | Brandish a weapon - car-phone, hairbrush,etc.- at a police officer | Pain depends on mood of
Cop |
Oh yes | This method is preferred by minorities or those too proud to kill self |
| Suicide by murder | Get some compassionate soul to 'Kevork' You | Varies by method and compassion | Usually works | For cowards who can't get up the nerve or who are afraid of Afterlife Consequences. |
| Classic | Razor across wrists | Some pain at first,then
glorious relief |
Not too effective | Many people who try this miss cutting the major vein (cut along, not across) |
| Clinical | Inject a hypodermic filled with air into veins | Just a pinprick, then some minor heart stoppage | With alot of air,quite effective | Painless, quick, clean, effective,what more do you want? |
| How Sweet It Is | Inject a hypodermic filled with Insulin into a non-diabetic person (you) | Just a pinprick, then some minor shock | Effective and untracable | Be sure to leave a suicide note. |
| Just Eat It | Injest a toxic substance such as Clorox,Aspirin,lye or other substance | Stomach ache,some vomit | Why waste good household Products? | Slow and Do-gooders might try to rescueyou.Tolerance Levels vary,so do substance Effects...pukeing may save you |
| Dead Inside | work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work | drudge drudge drudge drudge drudge drudge | it Works | This popular method leaves the Body alive but kills the Mind - Soul - Spirit and Creativity |
READ ON !...
Style |
Description |
Painful? |
Effective? |
Comments |
| The Lemming |
Jump off a building or
Bridge |
You'll feel a thrill and
then faint before you reach bottom |
From a building,survival
is low.Jumping from a bridge is NOT the way to go |
Water,earth or people may break your fall,not your neck. Jump from at least 15 stories to a concrete or paved ground. |
| Dash to the Finish | Jump in Front of a moving Car or Train | Yes,I see pain here |
This is for amateurs | It would be wiser to touch the Third Rail then to try this |
| Singing in the Shower | Oops,I dropped the hairdryer,toaster and radio into the bathtub! | Shock...get ready for major muscle spasms | Does the job | Try It, No serious side-effects |
| Death Race 2003 | Get in your Car and go crazy ! | There is both pain and pleasure in speed | Not a surefire kill though | Don't Drink and Drive...eeeeeeee |
| The Midnight Special | Park your car on the railroad tracks | You'll never know what hit you | If parked dead-center,Bulls-eye | Take a Nap while waiting to catch the Red-Eye |
| Idle Time | Park car in garage,close all doors,turn on engine,breath deep the gathering Gloom | getting...drowsy...
very...dro...sigh... |
Turn on radio,no one will bother you | Got car? Got garage?gentlemen: start your engines |
| Sitting at a Computer is Lonely... Do you really have any Friends? Does anyone really Care?... think about it... |
Style |
Description |
Painful? |
Effective? |
Comments |
| Weenie Roast |
Dowse self with Combustable Fluid and Ignite | Excruciatingly Peaceful | If you fail,you'll wish you were Dead | This is not Popular,but very watchable |
| Blaze`o Glory | Make a Statement: crash
Plane into Whitehouse, Kill the President, Turn self into Human Bomb,etc. |
Plan on some Pain |
Double check the Plan |
the only limit's are your
own Imagination. Make it Big ! |
| Jailhouse Log | The Bedsheet is tied around the top bars of the Cell-door then looped around the Neck | who cares? |
what options do you have? | If ^above^ Plan fails |
| More Asphixia | The Plastic Bag is placed over the Head and wrapped around Neck | Some Dizziness |
R U Joking? this Method is Lame | There are other forms of Suffacation, none are Recommended |
| Water,water Everywhere... | Jump off a Boat,or Walk into the Sea | Momentary Panic leads to Eternal Bliss | Are there any people around? No..good | the Sea Beckons... Listen ! |
-Stars that have proceeded You-
* Marilyn Monroe * Cleopatra * porn-star Savannah * RnB singer
Phylis Hyman *
* Micheal Hutchence of INXS * Kurt Cobain * Wendy 0.Williams
*
* Ernest Hemingway * Abbey Hoffman * George Reeves (Superman)
*
* sit-com's Brian Keith * game-show host Ray Combs * Paul Lynde
*
* politicos - Donald Manning - Bud E. Dwyer (live on TV) -
Vincent Foster (?) *
Do you think you're better than them?
...................................................
Having Second thoughts ? Just looking for Attention ?
And the Winner Is :
| The Big Sleep | Swallow as many Barbituates and Booze that you can | Relieves all Pain | Not 100 % Effective | The Number 1 way to Go |
